My best friend told me yesterday that she uses a CD that I used during the entire time I was at PIW to access my anger as she cuts herself. And also that she is now using something I used in the past to self-harm. I feel so guilty. My self-harm urges have diminished a bit over the past two days because I started taking my Seroquel again. I’m taking 200mg and it knocks me the fuck out, I’m incoherent for hours after I wake up. It needs to be reduced a little. All I care about, though, is that it makes the self-harm fantasies less vivid and incessant, and makes the negative thoughts “tape” stop playing. A lot has happened this week, but I’m still in a Seroquel coma, so I may have to update on all the other things later on today.

Wishing you peace and safety.